The thing I had not counted on, however, was the intensity of the scenes. Somehow somewhere along the line I forgot that acting involves work with difficult situations and emotions. Being an HSP (highly sensitive person), these scenes really bothered me and I ended up with a terrible headache that has lasted well into this evening. So what should I do? Not go to acting classes? Not use the gifts I have?
Um... no. The headache is caused not by the emotions themselves, but my unwillingness to acknowledge them. I have very big emotions, and I've found that in life it has been better for me to hide them and bury them. Ha- go figure that I would want to go into acting, where it's all about finding those hidden emotions and using them!
I am in the process of dealing with this headache by crying and screaming and FEELING. Feeling, for the first time in many years, with the full intensity God intended when I was designed.
It hurts. It freaking hurts. Right now it's just a blob of stuff inside of me- I can't name any of it- it's like a black and grey force inside of me that just FEELS.
Weird, huh?
So, for today- self-nurturing artists must let themselves feel all the things they want to forget.
(by the way- I finished the song I mentioned yesterday and I am proud of it!)
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