I don't deal well with rejection. I know that I am probably in the worst profession in the world to be saying this, but it's true. Even though I've developed a relatively tough inner layer, I'm still pretty thin-skinned, so you can imagine how I felt this morning when I woke up and saw that one of my million submissions had not been accepted by some A and R guy somewhere.
That was bad enough, but there was a condescending article that followed that I suppose would be great reading for someone who doesn't have 13 years of stage experience, but was completely useless to me. It was all about 'connecting' with the audience. Ughhhh. This groan is twofold: 1. I know how to connect with an audience, and I often do. I have really great stage presence. 2. Sometimes I simply don't want to- and that is also part of my stage presence. I intentionally don't connect. I am standoffish and unavailable. And I like that,sometimes, too.
The advantage of the internet is that there are numerous ways for artists to sell themselves. The disadvantage is that there are numerous people waiting to make a buck or just a name by telling these artists just how they should sell themselves.
For me, art is first and foremost. Audience is second. It has to be. If a true artist is creating with the intention of pleasing their target demographic, the art is going to be, at best, watered-down and, at worst, cheap. These are heavy accusations to level at the musician community, I know- I'm not saying that every pop artist who really connects with an audience or who writes for a target demographic is watered-down or cheap. There are a lot of artists out there who are brilliant at both making an audience feel at home and also writing music that speaks directly to their fans.
I, however, am not one of those people. I am adept at getting the audience inside me, so if I am feeling uncomfortable or insecure, the audience is feeling it. At the same time, they're also feeling the pain, the trauma, the elation, the quirkiness, the desperation, the drive, the peace, and the inner confidence of my music. That's what makes me 'me' as an artist. If I want to be another person other than myself on stage, then I will go and perform in plays (and I do!). I am NOT an entertainer. I am NOT a performer. I am an artist. And when a person comes to see me, they are coming to see me as an artist.
Because of my unwavering (and borderline selfish) devotion to art and self-expression, I am presented with many roadblocks. I get people saying I should be more this or that, less that or this. Most of this criticism comes from the internet, sometimes it comes from colleagues.
The thing is, if one is a self-nurturing artist, one has to take the good with the bad and know what to change and what to keep. Sometimes things that seem bad or ineffective to others are not bad- they're just different. I could list numerous examples here but I am concerned that I would be comparing myself to the greatest geniuses in music and I don't feel comfortable doing that (in public haha).
If you are an artist who is a little different, who doesn't particularly like dealing with a lot of people and who considers marketing to be scammy and who would rather die than entertain, then you're not alone. You're different, yes, but you are special because you're different. I guess this blog is for you. Be yourself, even when you create roadblocks for yourself. These roadblocks will eventually put you on a path that is more suited to you and your intensely personal artistic style.
I think... ask me in ten years.
No comments:
Post a Comment